Amerikkkan Airlines

Ladies and Gentlemen thank you for flying Amerikkkan Airlines. We’d like to thank our first class white passengers for flying with us. You will notice that the seats have been widened for your excess privilege. Feel free to enjoy the many benefits of first class travel free of charge—you’ve earned it. We have an abundant selection of reading materials to entice your educated minds as well as the latest Hollywood blockbusters that reinforce your elitist perceptions. For your safety here on Amerikkkan Airlines, we have installed curtains separating the First Class cabin from the Coach Cabin. We want you to be as relaxed as possible and what better way than with a healthy dose of ignorance. Before every meal we will provide you with a warm, wet washcloth so you can attempt to wash the blood off your hands before we serve you your meal choice of corporate greed with potatoes. For those of you with an Amerikkkan Airlines hegemony card, you will earn 20,000 miles on this trip qualifying you for a tax break and almost all the seats in government. As for our black passengers that were fortunate enough to get a ticket, you will find your seats at the back of the plane. Beverage service will be provided for you for an additional charge and since you’re all the way at the back of the plane, a flight attendant will only come around half of the time. Since it is February, which is the month we attempt to placate over 400 years of oppression, we will be offering you a meal service of sub-prime rib. You will have to share though, as we only have enough for a few lucky passengers. New entertainment options can be found in coach class such as the short film called "welcome to prison". This will be helpful for 1 out of 4 of the men here in our Economy seating. Kick off your bootstraps and make sure you take notes and tell your Hispanic friends. For our black female passengers I hope you enjoy the wide selection of beauty magazines available to help you feel insecure about your kinky hair. There are many helpful tips to show you how to avoid being too "ethnic-looking" and adopt the white standard of beauty as shown by the women in first class. Due to the widening of the first class privilege, there is limited space in the back of the plane and only enough room in the overhead bins for some of your burden. We ask that you carry the rest on your lap. In the event of a water landing, that burden will most likely weigh you down but fear not because FEMA will take care of you. Thank you for flying with us at Amerikkkan Airlines.